Future

Geez, going to the education fair doesn't give me answers, 

It raises more questions!

Sigh....

Dreams.... 

What are dreams to you guys?

Well,

I definitely have my own dreams...

Walking in a hall full of bustling people...

A hall crowded by college and university representatives...

I was walking around...

Trying to find the colleges or academies

That I'm interested in...

I found a few for graphic design:

The One Academy...

Equator Academy of Art...

TARCollege...

La Salle College of The Arts....

Sigh... I love graphic design...

After going through all the colleges for graphic design...

I caught a glimpse of an academy which is kinda interesting...

Why?

It's an academy for fine arts...

An academy for music...

When I walked over to take a closer look...

The guy over there asked me to sit down...

And he began to introduce the academy to me...

I told him that I'm interested in music...

He told me briefly of the music courses there...

And then weirdly...

He started to tell me about their main course

that is Diploma in Theatre....

So I listened to him...

He asked me a few questions:

What instrument do you play?

Do you like acting?

Do you have any experience in drama?

Do you have any experience in MC-ing?

So I answered all of them...

And told him my experiences in performances, drama, music and stuff...

And then he went on and on introducing the academy to me...

And then one comment from him struck me...

He said to me,

"You really have a very high potential in the performing arts!"

That caught me by surprise!

I mean,

I do dream of myself being a performer, singer, actor and all that stuff...

But I've never really thought of actually being one!

After he talked to me to what seems like 20 minutes...

I said thank you and I'll think about it...

And then I walked away...

With burning enthusiasm in me...

I thought to myself,

I actually wanted to be in the world of performing arts!

By now, you must be thinking if which academy would that be...

Well, let me tell you...

It's the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts...

Yup, you heard me....

Nanyang...

One of the top academies in Singapore...

There is another academy which also have courses on the performing arts...

La Salle College of The Arts...

But Nanyang is still my priority...

Sigh...

I really don't know what to do!

I mean...

It's performing arts!

And my parents never wanted me to be an actor, musician and all those stuff...

They want me to study engineering...

But performing arts and acting is my passion!

I wanna do what I love to do...

Yea...

Maybe when I finish my studies...

My paycheck won't have as many digits as the paycheck of an engineer...

But so what?!

I don't wanna spend half of my lifetime doing what I don't wanna do!

I want to do what I love!

And I understand that doing what you love,

Is one of the greatest pleasures in life!

I've found out that,

Being a performer...

Has always been my dream!

But who am I kidding?

Where would I find the courage to break it out to them?

That I wanna study performing arts, theatre, drama and acting?

They would kill me!

Even if I tell them... 

They would never approve of me...

Who am I gonna be,

in ten years time?

Graphic designer?

Product designer?

Engineer?

Or someone who I wanted to be,

A performer or actor?

I really hope that God will give me an answer,

Who He wants to be...

But at the mean time...

I hope someone would just counsel me on this matter...

Someone to tell me what I should do...

And what I should be doing...

And all I could do right now...

Is pray...

(God help me)

Passion

Went to a church in Sungai Petani with a few youths of our church today.

We've been there for a few times already but not very often.

The last time I went there is already a year ago.

The service starts at 8PM..

So we went there...

Leaded the whole service...

And we had quite some fun over there...

When the service ended...

We had supper with the church members there...

It suddenly struck me that there are so little people there!

There are only 5-6 people from their church,

And we had like 10 people from our church

I was dumbstruck!

Later on...

I went to look at the notice board...

I saw two photos there...

One of them caught my attention...

It's a photo that our youth have taken with their church's youth and children

2 years back when we were celebrating Christmas with them...

There were like so many of them...

But today...

There is only one teenager there...

Only one.

She is around 14 or 15

And she was with us during the Christmas celebration two years back...

Back then..

There were 20-30 of them

Today...

There is only one...

During the praise and worship,

I can see that she, her father and her mother

Were worshiping and praising

Him, our God Almighty,

Passionately...

And that really moved me...

During the service,

Right after the praise and worship,

The girl did the scripture reading...

The mic was not set up properly at that time...

So I went to help her...

After I'm done with it...

She looked me into my eyes...

And I can see the words thank you in her eyes...

I felt really warm with that...

Then after the service...

The girl went to help her father to count the offerings...

I was paying attention at her through the service...

I can see that

Eventhough she has to do all this stuff alone 

Without any youths from her church to help her

She did not show any dissatisfaction

She was WILLING

I was amazed at her passion for God

I was touched

Eventhough all the other people has left the church

She and her family stayed there

Because they know the importance of going to church

The importance of worshipping God

The importance of knowing The Word

Because they know that

God...

Is their way of life

And Jesus is their Salvation!

Through this blog post

To everyone who sees this

I want you guys to know

That I didn't post this for nothing

I didn't post this because I have a lot of free time

In fact, I'm already very tired from today's activities

I didn't even rested ever since I woke up at 7.30 this morning

And it's already 12AM now

I posted this because I wanted to show you the passion of a teenager and her family

Towards Christ

Their passion towards The Word of God

Their passion towards the Love of God

And their passion towards spreading the gospel

And at the same time

I hope that you would just take a few minutes

Just a few minutes

To pray for the churches in Malaysia

Pray that the gospel and the good news

Will spread like wildfire around Malaysia

And pray that the churches will never die

But they will continue growing

Pray for the churches that are facing problems

Pray for the churches that are crumbling

Pray that God will give the leaders of the churches

Wisdom and strength

To rebuild the churches

And also pray for the members

Who never gave up on their church

Pray for them so that their passion towards Christ would never falter

Pray that they would continue to grow in spiritual maturity

And continue to grow towards Christ.

Most of us are fortunate to have a church to go to

A church that has a lot of brothers and sisters in Christ to care for us

To love us.

But think about those that never have the opportunity to hear the gospel

To receive the good news

Those who go to church with only a few members to share the joy with

Even those that didn't have a church to go to.

Think about it.

We as one in the body of Christ

Are RESPONSIBLE to care for each and every Christian throughout the four corners of the world

Yes

WE ARE RESPONSIBLE

If you've never thought about this,

Well, this is the time to know.

This is the time when we do something about it.

Brothers and Sisters,

Let us all pray for the churches in this country

And at the same time

Make an impact on the lives of people

Being the life-changers of our school,

Our community,

Our country,

Even our churches!

Are you guys with me?

Thank you daddy....

I wanna thank both my earthly father and Heavenly Father
For showing the right way
The One Way
That is
"CHANGE"
Towards what
"CHRIST"
Wants me to be

I wanna thank God

For talking to me through my Dad

I have awoken

My long-time slumber

Has finally come to an end

Now I have a new direction in life

Thank you Dad

I Love Ya!! <3

Time to change course baby!

New Leaf

Shackles are free... Bonds are broken...
Freedom

Life...

What is life to me?

I've been treating life

As if its a curse

As if its my enemy

Life...

What is the true meaning of life?

Life is a gift

A gift from above

A gift from God

From this 

Very day

Very hour

Very minute

From this very s.e.c.o.n.d.

I'm gonna live my life to the fullest

Every time

I've made the people around me

Worry about me

About my stupid lil' problems

Well,

From now on

I'm not gonna be so selfish anymore

I will never ever pull people down with me ever again

Every time

When I say I am alone

I've forgotten of the one true friend

Who has never left me

That very friend

is the one and only

Jesus Christ

From this moment

I would live my life to the fullest

I would not waste my precious time tat God gave me

On things that don't really matter

I'm the light and salt of the world

And I would show His love

Through my actions

Through my life

And let myself be a living testimony

Of the love and grace of God

And let the whole world know

The one true God that has never left me

The one true God whose always with me

Guiding me

Through the storm 

And raging seas

From this moment on

I would only live for Him

My God Almighty

People always say that I'm emo

You know what?

Emo is never ever gonna be in my dictionary ever again

Yes

I would still be down at times

But there's nothing I can do about it

So it's better to just

Move On...

And people always say

That I keep my feelings to myself

Well,

This quote in one of my favourite novels will tell you why:

"I always channel my emotions into my work, that way, I would not hurt anyone but myself..."

- Cinna, The Hunger Games -

Now you guys know why...

Anyway

Like I've said

I'm living my life to the fullest now

And I'm living for my heavenly Father

My shackles are off

My bonds broken

I've finally seen

the break of dawn...

I'm finally

FREE

That "Someone"

What I'm feeling right now?

Left out

Rejected

Why can't I find that someone?

The "someone" that I can lean on to?

I'm fragile

I'm weak

But my appearance makes you think I'm not

People think that I'm strong

That I can deal with my problems alone

And still deal with other people's problems at the same time

The truth is

I CAN'T

Most of the time

I actually wanted to cry

But I always compose myself

Not letting myself break down

But its tearing me apart

From the inside out

Every single time

The situation never allow me to cry

The presence of my friends never allow me to cry

So...

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I cried alone

Locking myself in my room

Hitting my fist on something

Until the pain takes over my heartache

I've always wanted someone

Someone that understands me

Someone that could tell what is going on with me

Just by looking into my eyes

Someone that would just hug me 

Without saying a word

Someone that would just let me cry my heart out

But no

Non of this is ever gonna happen

I will always be alone

No one by my side

Walking a long and lonely journey

I'm ALONE

Crying myself to sleep

Letting the loneliness

Engulf me

Swallowing me into its abyss

I'm....

ALONE

Hamlet

"To be or not to be, that's the question..."

-William Shakespeare- 

This quote was found in his masterpiece 

"Hamlet"

I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT MEANT

I wonder what situation 

Was Shakespeare in

When he came up with this quote.

So this is my turn 

To ask this puzzling question:

"To be, or not to be...

To love, or not to love... 

That's MY question..."

The Way I Loved You

I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND

But I couldn't reach for your hands anymore

I WANNA HAVE YOU IN MY ARMS

But you're so distant from me now

Letting you go is

Making me feel so cold

And I’ve been trying 

To make believe it doesn’t hurt

But that makes it worse

See, I’m a wreck inside

My tongue is tied 

And my whole body feels so weak

The future may be all I really need

Even if I fall in love again

With someone new

It could never be the way I loved you

Like a first love

The one and only true love

Wasn’t it written all over my face?

I loved you like you loved me

Like something pure and holy

Like something that can never be replaced

And it was wonderful

It was magical

It was everything I’ve waited for

A miracle

And if I should ever fall in love again

with someone new

It will never be the way

I loved you

Yes, I don't wanna lose you

I still want you

I made a promise to myself

Saying I don't wanna be in a relationship

But I didn't make the promise to God

I say so just so that

I wouldn't hurt you

I'm sorry for lying to you

I hope you see this 

Because this is what i wanna tell you for a really long time

But I kept it in my heart

And I felt that this is the time 

To tell you how I feel about you